


Life in Plastic

by schizoauthoress



Series: Seven Days of Smulio 2017 [5]
Category: The Simpsons
Genre: I love my doll collecting gay son, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-11-07 02:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11049468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schizoauthoress/pseuds/schizoauthoress
Summary: Julio learns a little more about collecting, and hatches a plan...





	Life in Plastic

**Author's Note:**

> Just to make it clear, I grabbed the name that Matt Groening originally wanted for Comic Book Guy, and gave it to the cousin, Comic Book Gay. So when the characters mention "Louis", they mean Louis Lane, AKA Comic Book Gay, AKA the guy Julio asked out at the end of "Flaming Moe" in Season 22.

Waylon fishes his buzzing cell phone out of his pants pocket and accepts the incoming call. "Hello?"

"Hi, Waylon!" Julio greets cheerfully. "Louis and his latest boy toy are going to a craft fair after work on Friday and invited us to come along. Are you free then?"

"Uh, actually, I've received several packages I was waiting for and I was going to dedicate this Friday to unboxing them."

Julio clicks his tongue in surprise and asks, "It takes the whole evening?"

Waylon chuckles, a bit self conscious. "Pretty close to that long, yes. There are several dolls for my collection, and it will take some work to get them display ready. Plus, I think there's some non-doll merchandise that will need categorizing."

"That makes sense. Can I help?" Julio asks.

"You want to?" Waylon is confused by the offer.

"I want to spend time with you," Julio replies. "And I certainly want to do that more than I want to be a third wheel while surrounded by macrame or whatever."

It's Waylon's turn to 'tsk' over the phone, and he mock scolds Julio, "So mean!" but he can't disguise the smile on his face, which comes through in his tone.

"Unless you _want_ me to scout the fair for a macrame poncho that would fit Malibu Stacy?" Julio teases in response.

"I'm tempted to say 'yes', just to see if you'd do it," Waylon laughs. "But. You'd have to be able to take down a lot of information about the artist and the piece in order for me to include a non-licensed fashion in the collection, and... I'd much rather you spend time with me than be Louis's third wheel."

"I'll tell Louis that we have other plans."

****

It's Thursday night, and Waylon had to stay a few hours later than usual, making calls to various merchants in search of 18 karat gold staples -- and to see if there was a jeweler or office supply store that could be commissioned for a matching stapler set with diamonds. (There is a certain jeweler who makes staples plated in 14 karat gold, but Mr. Burns insisted on a higher percentage of gold than "any Kardashian or Osbourne could simply purchase from an online merchant". And that made the task more difficult.) He gives Julio a grateful, somewhat exhausted look, as his boyfriend walks in with several deliciously fragrant styrofoam takeout boxes from the Thai fusion restaurant.

Julio looks around the living room, which has a markedly different setup than when he visited last weekend. The couch has been reoriented so that the shelves against one wall can be seen over the back of it. The dolls themselves have been slightly rearranged, with a play-worn version of the Dream House centered on the shelves and various different Stacys and friends set up in small tableaus around it. Two large boxes have replaced the side tables on either side of the couch -- Julio recognizes the logos on each box, which belong to a manufacturer of photography lighting equipment. Several boxes of varying sizes are arranged on the coffee table, and atop the console table -- where the couch used to be positioned -- is a folded up tripod and HD video camera.

"I didn't realize that doll collecting involved so many different things," Julio comments, "It's so interesting!"

"The video camera is a new thing," Waylon says, as he helps carry their dinner into the kitchen. He sets his boxes down on the round table there, and then goes to get a pair of plates from the dish cupboard. He continues to explain, "My newsletter went digital a few years back, and a lot of the younger collectors like video content over written reviews."

"The things we do to stay relevant, hm?" Julio asks, with a little smile.

"Yeah..." Waylon sets down the plates, then fetches some utensils for them to use, while Julio grabs a pair of drinking glasses from a different cupboard. "Some of these new kids don't like me much, even with all this effort."

Julio gasps dramatically and exclaims, "They're disrespecting the queen of Malibu Stacy collecting? Obviously, they're only jealous of you, baby."

Waylon snorts. "I think some of them would have a meltdown if I referred to myself that way!" He continues setting the table, then goes back into the kitchen for the pitcher of sweet tea waiting in the fridge.

Julio grins mischievously at him when he returns. "Wanna kiss on camera?" Julio asks as Waylon sets the pitcher on the table. "That'd make it clear what we mean by 'queen'."

Waylon snickers, but ultimately shakes his head. "I'm not comfortable making it about me. I'd like to keep the v-log focused on the dolls."

"That's cool. It's your show, after all." Julio grabs Waylon's chair and pulls it out for him. "For now, let's eat! I'm sure you're hungry."

"I am. Thank you for picking all this up," Waylon says, as he sits. Once he's settled, Julio moves to the chair beside him and pops open the cover on one of the takeout boxes. There's little conversation for several minutes as they serve themselves and each other, and then eating the food takes up most of their attention.

****

After dinner, Julio gives up scrolling through radio stations on the sound system, unable to find a format he's in the mood for. "Hey, what if I dress up like one of the boyfriends for your v-log tomorrow?" Julio asks, after turning the stereo off.

Waylon glances up from the three-ring binder he'd been paging through, one of his self-made reference books for the collection. He gives Julio a confused look and repeats, "One of the boyfriends?"

"Yeah!" Julio jumps up from his spot seated on the couch -- on the other end of the cushions, Hercules gives a sleepy little yip but doesn't come fully awake -- and takes one of Waylon's hands in his. "Can I show you the one?"

"Uh, sure..." Waylon lets Julio lead the way into the collection room.

When they go into the 1990s section of displays, Waylon thinks he might know what Julio was referencing. Soon enough, Julio stops and points out a version of the Hispanic boy doll -- Painting Fun Ricky. Waylon smiles.

He'd never thought to compare Julio with anything in the collection, but he can see the similarities now. This version of Ricky has rooted hair that fluffs up in the front, and the doll is even -- as Julio likes to do, regardless of formality -- wearing sandals.

"This one!" Julio says. "I think I even have a green turtleneck with that vertical texture, just like his. And of course, the khaki pants will be easy to match."

"That would be fun," Waylon replies. "I can put him in the living room, on the shelves behind the couch. We'll be sitting on it, and he'll be right in view along with you. Why don't you take a picture, so you can put together the matching outfit when you go home tonight?"

Julio nods and pulls out his cell phone, turning on the built in camera. "Flash or no flash?"

Waylon chuckles. "It's not a painting. Flash shouldn't hurt anything on the doll, but the colors in the photo probably won't match if you use it." Waylon leans over to peek at the screen as Julio fiddles with the settings. "Oh, pick the macro mode. That little flower icon That helps color accuracy on small items, too."

Julio makes a sound of acknowledgement as he follows the instructions, then he snaps a picture of Painting Fun Ricky. They both lean in to look at the screen, then glance at the doll.

"That's a good one," Waylon says.

"It ought to be," Julio replies. "Taking pictures was my job for years,along with mixing drinks at just about every hotel bar in this town."

"You're a man of many talents," Waylon says with a smile, before kissing Julio's cheek. Julio jumps a little -- that is usually his gesture of affection, and Waylon has never done it before -- but he smiles back a moment later.

****

Later that night, Waylon answers his cell phone and finds a slightly panicked Julio on the other end.

"Baby, can you take some closeup pictures of the Ricky doll?" Julio asks breathlessly. "I'm not sure any of these sandals I have are close enough!"

"Do you really think people will notice?"

"Who cares if they notice?" Julio declares, in that dramatic tone again, "I'll _know_!"

Waylon grins, and replies calmly, "You know, you really don't have to go to all this trouble."

"It's not trouble!" Julio insists. "I just want your video to go well. You were nice enough to let me help, so I want to get into the spirit of everything."

"And I appreciate that very much. There's no need to panic, sweetheart."

Julio sighs heavily. "I'm not trying to!"

Waylon knows when to back off, that half-annoyed tone in Julio's voice reminding him of one of the warning signs from Monty -- push now, and woe unto you. Waylon says, "Sorry. I know. I'll take the pictures now. Just remember that it doesn't have to be a perfect match." A new thought occurs to him, and Waylon offers, "You can send me pictures of the sandals you have, if you need me to judge."

"Okay. Yes. That would work." Julio takes a breath. "Thank you, baby. Sorry for the freak out."

"It's okay." Waylon jokes gently, "No matter how you're dressed, you're so handsome that everyone will be distracted."

Julio laughs. "Even you?"

" _Especially_ me," Waylon replies, in the low voice that he knows Julio likes, smirking when Julio squeaks. "Keep an eye out for my email. I've got to hang up now, so I can use the camera on my phone."

"Okay. Talk to you later."

"Bye, sweetheart." Waylon hangs up, and shakes his head. Julio has a tendency to take things personally, and turn even small setbacks into catastropes. Waylon can't really relate to those kind of reactions, and it can be troublesome to deal with such an emotional partner. But he knows that Julio's heart is in the right place. He cares deeply for Julio, and this is proof that Julio cares for him. So he heads back to the display that houses the doll in question.

Waylon takes the doll off its display stand and carries it over to the desk in the corner, where he cleans up the less-than-mint dolls he receives. The desk has a few scattered pieces of a disassembled doll -- parts that he pushes back to clear a space. Waylon lays the doll down and picks up his phone, switching it to camera mode and holding it with both hands. 

He puts the phone close to the doll's footwear, then gradually pulls back until the autofocus kicks in and the sandals are still taking up most of the frame. He snaps a few pictures, then repositions the doll and takes some more. He finishes by removing one of the small shoes and taking photos of the each side, the top, and the bottom of the shoe alone.

"That should do it, plus some overkill," Waylon comments to himself, satisfied. He puts the shoe back on Ricky and carries the doll back to its stand.

Once that's done, he goes to his computer and starts the process of transferring the photos from phone to computer. It'll be worth the effort, he's sure.

****

"All right, baby, let's get this show started!" Julio exclaims as he practically bounces into the apartment the next night.

Waylon just barely holds in a laugh. Julio is winding up to full camp; Waylon can tell just from the tone Julio is using. He pulls the door shut behind Julio, glad that he moved Hercules's doggie bed into the bedroom already. He usually does that when shooting an unboxing video log anyway, but Julio in this mood would probably get Hercules all riled up, in a bad way. (Waylon meant it when he told Julio, months ago, that Hercules gets cranky in the evenings.)

He takes a moment to look Julio up and down, then gives a thumbs up. "Looking good!"

"I could say the same to you, Waylon!" Julio reaches out, running a hand along the outside of Waylon's left thigh. "Since when do you wear denim cutoff shorts, _hm_?"

"They, uh, go with the shirt." Waylon replies. He can't help puffing his chest slightly when Julio's gaze moves up to inspect the shirt. It's a hot pink tanktop with a decal based on vintage 1980s box art for Malibu Stacy. Julio raises an eyebrow -- but Waylon hastens to explain, "I wore it for the first v-log, and it... sort of became my 'uniform' for these reviews."

"Did I say anything?" Julio asks with a warm smile. "I'm not complaining. You go right on showing off those fine, strong legs, baby."

Waylon swats Julio lightly on the arm and admonishes, "Don't tease."

"I'm not teasing." Julio leans in, captures Waylon's mouth in a brief, sweet kiss. Then he pulls back and says, "You'll know when I'm teasing, Waylon. You won't want the camera on for that."

Waylon grumbles (goodnaturedly) and holds Julio at arms' length. "Save that for after the shoot, mister. Go get changed."

"Yes sir, Mr. Smithers, sir!"

****

Julio helps set up the lights as Waylon positions the video camera. (Waylon had been about to direct Julio on how to do it, but Julio had given him the flattest of looks over one shoulder when he started. Remembering Julio's previous comment about working as a photographer, Waylon wisely shut up and focused on finding the proper camera angle to match his previous videos.) Once that's done, Waylon sets a printed out sheet of paper on the coffee table, among the assorted shipping boxes, and looks over at Julio.

Julio is leaning with one hand on the back of the couch, studying how Waylon has the Painting Fun Ricky posed on the shelf. He notices Waylon's scrutiny and spins around to take a seat. "Can you see him over my shoulder?" Julio asks, pointing without looking himself.

Waylon goes back to the camera and peers through it, just to be sure both are in the shot. He flashes another thumbs up. "Yep!"

"Perfect," Julio says. Then he sits up straighter and positions his arms to mimic the doll -- elbows and wrists both slightly tense and angled. He even has his fingers spread just the way Ricky's body mold has them, at least to Waylon's eye. (And Waylon has seen a lot of parts from the 1983 male doll body in the Stacy line.) Julio smiles, only showing his upper teeth. "How's this?"

"Raise your eyebrows a little?" Waylon suggests. When Julio does so, Waylon smothers a giggle. "God, that's kind of uncanny."

"It's probably--" Julio cuts himself off, and drops the practiced smile. "Too hard to do that and talk. It's probably the contouring I did? My natural face isn't an exact match for your doll's, you know."

"Oh. Huh." Waylon peers at Julio more closely. "Good work, then."

"So how do we start?" 

Waylon hits record and walks around to the couch, taking a seat on the opposite side from Julio so that the Dream House and various dolls are visible between them in the shot. "I'll start like I usually do: 'Hello! Waylon Smithers of 'The Malibu Monthly' here, with a few new additions to the collection to go over.' And then I can say something like, 'you'll see I have some company today...'" Waylon sweeps his hands to one side, indicating Julio in much the same way that a model on a gameshow would showcase a big prize. "You'll be in your pose, I guess? And you can introduce yourself. Don't worry about takes -- this thing can record for hours without filling up the memory."

Julio nods. "Sounds good." He clears his throat and goes into the doll pose again, complete with facial expression.

Waylon says softly, "Three, two, one, and..." he beams for the camera. "Hello! Waylon Smithers of 'The Malibu Monthly' here, with a few new additions to the collection to go over! You'll see that I have some new company today..." and he makes the hand motion to indicate Julio.

Julio's practiced smile widens, and he says, "Hello, Internet. I'm the first in an all-new line of life size Malibu Stacy se-- _mmph_!"

Julio tilts with the impact of the throw pillow to his face, and topples off the couch with a muffled shriek of laughter. 

Waylon is on his feet, having flung the pillow to cut Julio off once he clued in -- and Waylon yells, "You are _not_ a sex doll!" right before cracking up himself.

"I didn't know 'throw pillow' was literal..." Julio says, from his spot on the carpet.

Definitely an outtake.

****

"Hello! Waylon Smithers of 'The Malibu Monthly' h... heh heh heh..." Waylon claps a hand over his mouth and glares at Julio. 

Julio, in a slightly altered pose to match how he'd changed the doll's position between takes, gives Waylon the most innocent look he can muster. He hasn't done anything since that first take, but every time Waylon looks at him, the giggles start.

Waylon presses his lips together firmly and shakes his head, almost like a dog shedding water. "Augh! Get out of the pose, Julio. You're gonna keep setting me off with that goofball smile on your face."

Julio relaxes out of the pose and rolls his shoulders before stretching his arms out in front of him. "You sure, baby?"

"I'm sure. This time, I'll introduce you." Waylon shoots Julio a stern look. Julio responds by pouting and fluttering his eyelashes at Waylon, which makes Waylon snort trying to keep more laughter down. " _Julio_!"

"Okay, sorry." Julio leans on the couch arm in a more casual manner. "I'll be good."

"Good." Waylon shuts his eyes and takes a breath. He opens his eyes again once he's let it out and says, "Now... three, two, one... Hello! Waylon Smithers of 'The Malibu Monthly' here, with a few new additions for the collection to go over. And with me for this episode is my latest boy toy, Julio Franco."

Julio grins, recognizing that Waylon cribbed from his comments on the phone a few days back. He waves to the camera. "Hello, Internet! Enjoy the view."

Waylon rolls his eyes at that comment, but keeps his composure. He leans forward to consult the printout, then picks up one of the packages. "This is one of the newest in the Malibu Stacy 'Gold Ribbon' line, designed especially for collectors..."

****

"That was fun," Julio says. His arms are laden with the boxed dolls, and he stands patiently waiting for Waylon to take them off the stack. Waylon is holding another of the 'Gold Ribbon' collectibles and considering where to place it.

"Yes," Waylon says, "Once you decided to behave."

"You liked it. You couldn't keep a straight face," Julio points out. Waylon sets the box on the shelf and takes another box off Julio's hands.

"Of course not, darling," Waylon replies in a mild voice. "Nothing about me is straight."

Julio giggles. Waylon glances over one shoulder at him and winks.

It takes some time, but eventually all the boxed dolls are shelved. Waylon goes back to the living room and fetches a doll he'd declared 'one of a kind' -- the work of a custom doll artist under the pseudonym SummerKnights71. Julio watches as Waylon lowers the customized Malibu Stacy doll into a clear acrylic box for display, then comments,

"I understand collecting the dolls made by the company, and all the merchandise. But I didn't realize you had dolls that other collectors changed. Isn't that... defacing it? Like people coloring the illustration plates in an old book?"

"Dolls aren't books," Waylon points out.

"I know _that_!" Julio huffs. "It's my only frame of reference."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to come across as insulting." Waylon pulls his hands free of the display box and settles the lid in place. He picks up the box, holding it by the base and careful to keep his fingers from marking up the clear plastic. "People would be upset if a customizer used a rare or particularly old doll, _especially_ if it was in good condition beforehand. But you have to remember that Malibu Stacy is mass produced, starting in the 1980s through to today. It's more like taking a paperback you bought from the grocery store and making it pretty." Waylon places the box on one of the high shelves, beside another one of a kind doll in a similar display case.

"Oh." Julio frowns thoughtfully. "It's too many different rules for me, I think."

"You don't have to worry about it, you know."

"It's important to _you_. That's why I want to know."

Waylon blinks, and it's his turn to say, "Oh." He recovers quickly, though, and walks over to the desk in the corner. "Let me show you something."

Julio comes over and leans against the back of the desk's matching chair. He watches as Waylon goes down on one knee and opens the file cabinet under the desk, pulling out a thick plastic file. 

Waylon sits in the chair and puts the file on the desk. He pulls the fastener loose and lifts the flap, and the accordian file expands slightly. He digs around in the slots, eventually extracting a few aged sheets of paper. Waylon pages through the papers, then holds out one of the sheets. "Does this look familiar?"

Julio takes the paper and studies it. It's a drawing of a female figure, similar to a clothing design sketch -- colored pencil and ballpoint pen, if he had to guess. The long blonde hair could be any basic Stacy, and there's quite a bit of pink in the gown. What catches his eye in the drawing is what did the same in the custom doll -- an elaborate Venetian style mask with sun rays along the top. The actual doll holds the mask in one hand -- in the drawing, it's on a fancy, off-center stick. The drawing is dated in one corner and signed "WS jr".

"You designed the doll that SummerKnights71 made!" Julio exclaims with delight.

"Yes. Uh..." Waylon gives a little cough. "It was back in high school, so the drawings aren't very good..."

"Don't be silly! I recognized it right away. It's a good drawing."

"Well, I'm better at it now," Waylon points out. Julio impulsively kisses him on the cheek, and Waylon smiles wryly. "You can't win every argument that way."

"Were we arguing?" Julio asks, pretending innocence again. "I was just _overcome_ by how adorable you are, baby."

Waylon laughs. "Flatterer."

The landline rings in the kitchen, and Waylon put the papers down on the deks. "That might be Mrs. Scopes. She hates calling cell phones."

"She might need a grocery run, go, go!" Julio replies, passing the drawing to his left hand and making shooing motions with his right.

Waylon nods and hurries out of the collection room. Once Waylon is gone, Julio turns to the desk with a devious smile. He spreads out the old drawings with care, separating out the one he knew had already been made into a doll. Other sheets have sticky notes attached, with notes that Julio knows belong to Waylon's classification system, even if he personally has no idea what it all means. He assumes these drawings with sticky notes have also been made into custom dolls, and looks for drawings without.

"Aha!" he says, pulling out two sheets of paper. He gets his phone out and snaps a few quick shots of each.

Out in the hallway, a familiar jingling sound starts up. Julio hears Waylon say, "Well, hello, old man! You're up late! Wanna play tug with your rope?"

He sends out silent thanks for Hercules and timely warnings, and slips the two drawings he'd photographed to the bottom of the pile. He'll decide later which of the designs to choose, once he's found an artist who works with Malibu Stacy dolls. Julio thinks back to how brightly Walon smiled upon seeing the dream doll made real, and he can't wait to put that look there himself.

Julio steps away to inspect the masquerade custom doll, pretending as though that's all he's been doing.

"You were right," Waylon says behind him.

Julio turns around. "Grocery run?"

"She's low on some other essentials, but she wanted to make sure I was free tomorrow morning for errands," Waylon answers.

"If it's easier, you two can go now, and I'll stay behind to watch the dogs," Julio offers.

"That would be a big help. I'll check if Mrs. Scopes is okay with that."

Julio follows Waylon out of the room this time. As Waylon redials his elderly neighbor, Julio takes over the tug of war with Hercules (for the coveted prize of holding the jingly rope for a few seconds before Hercules grabs for it again). Julio glances toward the kitchen and takes a moment to just watch Waylon speak on the phone, admiring his lover's good looks.

An annoyed yip from Hercules brings Julio's attention back to the task at hand, and he teases, "So sorry, your highness!" before picking up the rope toy and shaking it.

Julio loves times like these -- quiet moments where he feels like he fits into Waylon's life, rather than the sometimes hectic rush to coordinate their schedules. He wouldn't trade this for anything.


End file.
